How about not sexually harassing people


 Do you find this image offensive? Maybe it's a little funny, sent to the right person. Context is important! 

It isn't appropriate to send to me when I have no intention of sending you boob pictures and we do not have a relationship like that. In fact, it is very triggering for me. I woke up to this message from a man I used to work with. We don't hang out. We don't really talk. I am not going to say his name or anything like that. I am going to give him the benefit of the doubt that he thought it was funny or maybe he thought I would think it is funny. He was probably drinking and thought, who might enjoy this meme. I am going to explain why YOU SHOULDN'T SEND ME THIS SHIT IF WE DON'T HAVE THAT KIND OF RELATIONSHIP. If we have that kind of relationship, please send me this lol. If you struggle to understand if we have that kind of relationship, then we definitely don't have that kind of relationship. 

I was sexually assaulted twice this summer. If you want to read about them, scroll through my blog. Sexual assault is all I seem to talk about. I am currently struggling with PTSD because of this. I am seeing two therapists. I just talked to a psychiatrist about getting on medication so I can feel normal, sleep, and manage the anxiety attacks. I struggle to focus at work, which is one of my outlets, further diminishing my identity. I am not sleeping super well. I am working very hard to overcome this because I won't let shitty people get the best of me. 

This meme sent me into a panic attack this morning. I could barely breathe. My chest was palpitating. I had to practice deep breaths to calm myself. I cried. I may have even screamed a little. I just want to feel safe. I don't feel safe. This world isn't safe. Sometimes you think you can trust people, and it turns out that they aren't safe. Sometimes you learn the hard way who is safe and who isn't safe. Sometimes I have trusted people who shouldn't have been trusted. I had to learn the hard way that I couldn't trust them. That they would take advantage of me. It makes me tired of being a beautiful woman. It is why I don't do myself up a lot. I don't want to be stared at. When I am stared at, I am not safe. 

If you don't know someone well enough to know their sexual history, maybe don't make sexual remarks at them. If you know someone's sexual history, learn what they are comfortable with and what they are not. He had no idea what I am struggling with. He probably thought it was funny. You have no idea what people are going through. Be kind and be aware. 

I write this because it is healing for me. I share this because I want people to not fuck up and to be more aware of others. Sexual assault is rampant. There is a statistic that says like 1 in 4 women are sexually assaulted. I would go further to say probably 9 in 10 women. Almost every woman I know has been assaulted. Be kind, be kind, be kind. And don't fucking rape people. 

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