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Showing posts from December, 2025

Guys, I need to kill my online persona.

Enter into the garden of my life; I will give you a peak as I compost my dead body to fuel something new.   In 2024, I had a mental health crisis: nothing more and nothing less. My body felt like it was on fire. My body was a fckn cage and I couldn’t escape it. This was a year I decided to take off from alcohol to improve my life. My entire world changed.  I came home early from the white party to find my home dishelved and my devices hacked. An ex roommate terrorized my safety. One of the biggest mistake I have made is not believing my child (dog) when she told me she was afraid of someone. I didn’t listen to her body signals. I passed on generational trauma.  The awful year carried on. My grandmother died. My best friend and boyfriend broke up with me. My mom and I had a blow out fight again. Another sexual assault again. This time I ignored the red flags, walking into a devils den. This time it was definitely my fault because I saw bad signs but I did it anyw...

I am not a predator; I am prey.

Some people would like others to believe that I am a predator. I am not a predator. I am not someone who hunts others for fun. I find that behavior quite disgusting. People who intentionally harm others have something wrong with their brains. Several mass shooters have been shown to have brain damage or abnormalities. Like literally something is wrong with people. I cry and torture myself over hurting people. I saw the hurt that I caused and all of the pain that was actively and inactively being inflicted onto me. I repented and did better. I also held it together. I love my mind for getting me through that place. I vow to take care of that man (my brain - he's a dude).   I have been prey. I do not have to be a predator to have people sleep with me. I don't even have to make moves on people; people come on to me. I don't really have to convince people to sleep with me. I'm kinda hot and cool if you haven't noticed 😜 BTW she touched my foot in the hot tub and came o...

Dear M

I want to apologize for crossing your verbal boundaries. It was never my intention to cause harm but I did so I am sorry for that. I apologize to H for crossing their boundaries also. I wasn't trying to change our relationship; I wanted to share how I felt and feel acknowledged. But it was inappropriate for your monogamous values so I am again sorry for sharing my feelings.  If I missed cues, I am sorry for that. I realize that I am not always great at reading cues. If I said things that were kinda weird or creepy, dude I am totally embarrassed and sorry. I say whatever is on my mind sometimes which is like uh Sunny - inside thoughts bro.  We were bad influences on each other. There were several things that I hadn't done until I met you. I take responsibility for my actions and I was also influenced by you to make certain decisions. It was fun but we couldn't be friends in the same way anymore because we both don't want to be like our past selves.  I do think it is impo...