I am not a predator; I am prey.

Some people would like others to believe that I am a predator. I am not a predator. I am not someone who hunts others for fun. I find that behavior quite disgusting. People who intentionally harm others have something wrong with their brains. Several mass shooters have been shown to have brain damage or abnormalities. Like literally something is wrong with people. I cry and torture myself over hurting people. I saw the hurt that I caused and all of the pain that was actively and inactively being inflicted onto me. I repented and did better. I also held it together. I love my mind for getting me through that place. I vow to take care of that man (my brain - he's a dude).  

I have been prey. I do not have to be a predator to have people sleep with me. I don't even have to make moves on people; people come on to me. I don't really have to convince people to sleep with me. I'm kinda hot and cool if you haven't noticed 😜 BTW she touched my foot in the hot tub and came onto me. I just gave them what they wanted. Ayooooo!!! I had a lot of fun though. But I have paid dearly to be a sexually liberated AFAB female. 

Now I am so picky because I don't like my heart being broken. I want people who are going to love me for a long time and do their best not to hurt me. I want people to grow with. I am tired of being hurt and I am tired of hurting. 

Sometimes I would be taken advantage of and sometimes it was not fun. You can see some of my other articles for the things that have happened to me.

There is nothing wrong with sleeping with a bunch of people if its safe and consensual. But when it is from a sad place, ah baby girl, have some self respect. Oh you don't even know what that is love? Come let mama hold you. Mama is my internal mothering part. She's kind sometimes (halfsies LOL)  

What does an adult who has an extensive history of childhood SA do? It's pretty embarrassing to put myself in bad situations over and over again. It's pretty embarrassing that I am writing this now but I feel compelled by my life mission and I can't stop. 

Another thing - It's kinda hot when a hot person stalks you. Until you realize that it's weird that someone you slept with is trying to be your client and then blame you for the encounter. What odd behavior. 

To be honest, I have learned some manipulation tactics from my caregivers growing up. I am sorry for that. I have been working to dismantle those for a long time but hey I am getting better! Woot woot! Evidenced by a happy life. 

Sorry to anyone that I hurt. Feel free to message me and lodge a complaint. I will take time to understand what I have done and apologize for it. 

Peace, love, and fck off betches <3xo

Sunny Sunshine 

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