Powerful Priestess Productions

 While at kickboxing today, I had three thoughts:  1. Everyone would benefit from a healthy outlet for anger.  2. I can notice other peoples' reactions and moods and not react. I do not need to adjust my behavior for them. I do not need to fix their insecurities or bad moods.  3. When I do my best, I encourage others to do their best.  Here are my long notes: 1. Anger gets pent up. I didn't go to kickboxing for a few weeks and I have found myself crankier. When I go to kickboxing, I put my issues on the bag. I put my family on the bag. I put the people and situations who piss me onto the bag. I put current issues onto the bag. And I punch the fuck out of them. I feel relieved when I am done. Just like a good cry can leave me feeling relieved, punching until I can't breathe makes me feel lighter and more forgiving.  2. My codependency makes me feel responsible for others people behavior and moods. When I was growing up, caretaking others emotions was a safet...

 He began by telling me that people like me are like a double edged sword. That I am ambitious and driven. On the other hand, I am difficult to manage.  Hot damn. Would he say that to man? He just told me to stay in my lane. Be great, but not too great.  I am ambitious. Maybe that makes me difficult to manage. I say what I think. I can be a bit abrupt. I have worked on being more gentle and conveying my positive intent. I am not mean. I do not have a negative intention. I appreciate direct communication and cutting through the bullshit.  I am a kind leader. I seek to be inclusive, asking for feedback, seeking to not step on others' toes. The patriarchy is a system that is built on aggression and hierarchy. I don't play well within hierarchies because it generally is based on what I say because I say it, and not because it is the best idea.  I have decided to not stay in my lane. As I have been stepping into my personal power, I have been finding my voice. I am g...

I have found this deep well of sadness.  Dr Wayne dyer said when you squeeze an orange, you get orange juice. You can’t squeeze a happy person and get anger. You can’t squeeze an angry person and get joy. I have been going to my depths and there is a lot of sadness. I have been moving through my anger through kickboxing and therapy.  I feel a lot of empathy for people. As I was speeding on the freeway, I zoomed around an older gentleman, all pissed off that he was driving so slow.    And then as I passed him, I saw him, an entire being, full of hopes and dreams, sorrows and failures just like myself. And I had a wave of empathy come over me.  It is easy to see people who think differently as the enemy. It is easy to demonize them. But you know what? They are the same as me. Humans are an advanced form of animal, fighting for survival. The group who has power is the same as the group that is not in power. Everyone is seeking power to exist. The group with lesser ...

  I love the idea of manifesting money. I follow all these gurus who say just manifest money and get your vibe in alignment. As soon as your in alignment, BOOM, you’ll have everything you want. That’s a super nice ideal, but what about the thousands of migrants who die every year trying to get to the United States? Or the single mother busting ass to make a dime to support her family. Is she not vibing right, not working hard enough? I love the spiritual community. I follow and engage with it. However, there are some deep inequities that are not addressed. If you are able to manifest to have your needs met, you are PRIVILEGED. There are thousands starving throughout the world. They are so focused on food. There are addicts praying to find a way to get clean, as they slip into another high. It’s great to get your vibration right to manifest money and shit. But that’s a fucking privilege MILLIONS aren’t entitled to. Check your privilege. There are forces at play that are not going to...

This is to my white folks. Reverse racism? Is it a thing? This is a term that people fight over. I am going to start with the term prejudice. Is everyone prejudice? Yes. We evolved to quickly identify members of our ingroup and outgroup. Our tribe would protect us, where others would be a threat. Tribalism is deeply ingrained in our biology to help us survive. We are created to be prejudice to keep ourselves safe. All groups have stereotypes. White people's "stereotype" is that they are entitled and owed the world. We are a people of conquering and we have conquered the world, other people, and our environment. Our culture is the dominant culture throughout the world.  Have white people ever experienced prejudice? ABSOLUTELY. I grew up as 1 of 3 white people in my class in Lawndale, California. I loved my friends who were mostly Mexican. I grew to love Mexican culture and developed a small dislike of white people. Yes, I am aware that I am white. But white wasn...

This is very anxiety producing to say the least. I am amping up my self care to counteract the anxiety. This morning, I went for a run to work out some of my anxiety. I am grateful that I live near the Jordan River, which enhanced my run. One of my biggest concerns has been my household. I want to make sure we are okay throughout this pandemic. My roomies are my family. If you have met them, you know how important they are to me. They have all been stressed out and worried. I am a little more prepared. I had an experience with a recession. I worked at DiscoverCard in collections from 2008 to 2012. I was able to see the impacts of this economic downturn. It taught me to save, save, save. I have been lucky enough to save money. I am lucky enough to have a savings account and have a job that I can pay my mortgage. I can take care of my little group of people. <3 Additionally, another concern has been the amount of information that is available. It is important to me to keep myself ...

I feel like that I have nothing valuable or different to say. I just say what other people say. I don't write because I am afraid it won't be any good. I am afraid it will be just average and average isn't good enough. I am an imposter. So I never take the risk to learn how to write. Writing is a skill. It requires practice and risk. If I would write only for myself, then I can judge my own work. There is this online environment where everything you do has to be something unique and beautiful. I don't know that I can really say something that hasn't been said. Maybe I can say something in a different way that might appeal to an audience. But then I ask myself, what is the purpose of me writing? Do I write for others, or do I write for myself? If I am honest with myself, I write because I have a voice that wants to be heard. If writing is about expressing myself, then I don't need an audience. If it is in the act of being heard, then it is depende...